all about our wildlove 'date-nights'
Our Date Nights are simply pre-planned evenings when committed couples carve out some time for themselves away from their children and other responsibilities. Our Date Nights can also be “Date Days,” but the key idea is that the couples spend time as a couple, and not as unstructured “family time.”
Our Date Nights include a sense of leaving the ordinary realm of daily experiences; you dress differently, you go to a different place or engage in an unusual activity that isn’t part of your daily routine. Our Date Nights are unique and out of the ordinary.
Five ways Date Night builds Stronger Relationships
Our Date Nights help with communication. This is an essential element of an intimate relationship. But communication also involves the willingness to remove distractions such as children and career demands deliberately. Our Date Nights also offers couples the opportunity to discuss topics of mutual importance. They can self-define and dialogue about mutual aspirations.
Couples typically experience habituation, a “settling in” quality where both are more likely to take each other for granted. The symbiotic “we are a couple” sensibility can settle into an ordinary domestic routine. But new research indicates that a deficit in fun and novelty is toxic. A balance of activities, attractive to both, which emphasizes novel and different experiences can help increase intimacy.
Romantic love is that erotic spark, excitement, and an overwhelming sense of attraction to your significant other. But with time, the emotional and physical expression of erotic love tends to fade in many couples. Because our Date Nights allows a couple to focus on their connection completely, the erotic spark may be restored by the intentional pursuit of romance, novelty, and more in-depth communication.
Couples that have regular Date Nights maintain a connection through intimate conversation and emotional support. They also lower the stress on their brains, as well as their partners. Fortunately, nature has endowed us with high resiliency in this area. We don’t always have to connect with our partner correctly. Still, we do have to preserve and develop our capacity to pay attention and be fully present to our partners when they are stressed and to be a solidly loyal and reliable friend.
Our Date Nights help build attachment. When you experience the commitment of your partner, your sense of being firmly attached will provide you with a stable, deeply satisfying relationship. Partners who cherish and prize each other, who steer clear of other romantic opportunities, and who nurture a powerful sense of “we-ness” or togetherness are significantly happier than the less-committed, “iffy” couples. Commitment is scary. But commitment satisfies deeply.
Here are our simple DATE NIGHT RULES
We chose Saturday nights. If one of you gets invited to something else on a Saturday or something comes up, date night trumps whatever it is. This shows that the relationship and the other person is a priority. It not only demonstrates that to each other, it also sends that message to the world. People in our circle know that Saturday night is our date night.
Date night is not time for “discussion” or therapy. It is not a venue to air your grievances. It is a time to enjoy each other’s company and get to know each other more intimately. No hot button topics, no finishing fights. It is tempting when you get so little time alone together to use date nights as the time to make decisions and talk things out, but avoid the temptation.
Life is stressful and the day-to-day can be monotonous. Our Date Nights are something to look forward to. They don’t have to be elaborate. Just walking together hand-in-hand or swinging on the swings at a playground while you talk about your hopes and dreams can make a pretty memorable night. Keep things light. We’ll have different date night settings like dinner, movies, sports, crafting, cooking classes, etc..just come and bask in it all.
How our date nights Will Save Your Relationship
- You’ll see each other as people again
- You’ll talked more
- You’ll fight less
- You’ll relax around each other
- Over time, you’ll begin to look forward to your time together and tell each other so
- Your friends will notice the change in your relationship and some will even join you for Date Nights
- Your kids will notice less tension and arguing
- Your home will become more peaceful
- You’ll be able to discuss deep topics, your faith, your hopes and dreams, your values
- You’ll remember what you used to like about each other
- You’ll laugh together
- Your kids will see the importance you will have placed on our relationship
- You’ll make your relationship a priority
- You’ll make memories
- You’ll remember what is you’re fighting for
- You’ll grow a relationship that is not only about the kids
- You’ll like each other again